10 Smart Moves for Women (Part 3 of 4)

5. FOLLOW THROUGH FEEDBACK

• Feedback is invaluable to anyone interested in growth & improvement. - Know the difference between feedback & advice.

The advice we receive from others tends to be largely our own; we hint as what we want others to tell us. No one one wants advice - only collaboration. Feedback, on the other hand, often is the label we attach those negative comments we receive from both loved ones & outsiders. To be successful in love & in life, we need both kinds of comments to help us chart a successful & fulfilling life.

• Successful individuals have advisers we call them mentors, coaches or friends.


• We have too much to loose if we don't get feedback and much to gain if we do.


• Consider negative feedback a gift, not a gripe. - one of the surest marks of character is the willingness to accept negative feedback without feeling animosity toward the person who gave it.


• Smart women take the initiative in getting feedback at work & at home.

6. ENTERTAIN ONLY ETHICAL CHOICES

• Smart women never jeopardize their integrity.


• Character counts & perception can penalize. - Even at the bank, loan officers approve or refuse loans, they consider the 5 Cs of credit decisions...credit history, capacity, collateral, cash flow & character. Character - even an outsider's assessment of character - makes a difference whether you get a loan, get a job, or get into a business. Perception can be the most damaging part of the whole situation. It's not what happened or happens, but what people think happened or happens make a difference.


• In the marketplace, in the community, in social circles, character counts.


• Winning or losing, bounty or bankruptcy is not the point. Doing the right thing is.

There are opportunities big & small to take ethical fork in the road:

• Passing off someone else's ideas or accomplishments as your own
• Working at "half-mast" rather than putting in a productive day's work
• Padding a travel expense report
• Lying to clients and colleagues to cover for our mistakes rather than admitting them
• Producing products or providing services of shoddy quality
• Entering someone's computer or desk without authorization
• "Borrowing" from the petty cash fund and failing to return the money
• Taking an employer's trade secrets or inside information and passing them to a new employer or to a competitor
• Advertsing deceptively or selling products known to be defective
• Giving undeserved, poor job references on employees to prospective employers
• Repeating unverified, erroneous information or gossip, or failing to correct hurtful information that you hear passed on about someone or some situation
• Padding a resume
• Failing to honor verbal commitments

• Our bond is our word. Our future business depends on it.
• Character dictates words, actions & decisions.
• Smart women according to Rick Warren - " Smart Women consider their self worth more important than their net worth."

7. RELISH RELATIONSHIPS

• Put family first - Smart women hold on to relationships, despite these fears, despite your successes and despite any difficulties.
• When it comes to marriage, smart women set up a partnership , not a holding company. - That is, smart women and your spouses experience the satisfaction of going through life as partners, each giving to meet the needs of the other and in return having their own needs met. Marriages that operate like a holding company - with one of the partners holding all the sticks and doling out decisions by decree - wither.
• Smart women know that their men & children in their lives provide great strength & support.
• Forgiveness is a decision, always. - Forgive & forge on...Smart women should spend their time analyzing the difficult situation, gaining insight on motivations & then decide to forgive.
• Smart women cherish their family relationships.
• Many people now pay a therapist for what a friend used to do - listen. Friends beat therapists in 2 ways: they don't make you sit on the couch and they are far cheaper. :)
• Smart women find friends who offer an emotional support system. - friends are God's hands on earth.
• To develop this support system around you: Be interested, Be interesting, Cry with them, Be happy when they win, Do favors for them, Let them do favors for you.
• Those that hang out, hang in & hang on - these are your most valuable friendships.
• Communicate with colleagues - Sharing with colleagues and other women will give smart women a chance to bounce ideas off each other, seek advice on problems & issues, and gain support as women.
• Show people you need them - Reveal your heart to them. Listen - even when you are not in the mood. Don't pass judgment on what they say or do. Keep confidences. Find something you can do for them. All these steps in building friendships, we know, we've experienced.
• Smart women ask others for what they need. - letting them know that we need them
• Don't depend on others to make you happy.
• Those smart women who live alone do relish their relationships with extended family & friends, but they have also learned to enjoy solitude. - They fill their time with reading, gardening, crafts, exercising, listening to music,playing the piano, guitar, prayer, meditation, nature walks, sewing, driving, watching movies, sports, blogging, cooking, surfing the net, walking the dog etc. Smart women relish solitude in small doses with their relationships.
• Smart women cherish & cultivate their relationships. Those relationships with family, friends & colleagues provide emotional support, intellectual stimulation & physical help. When career ends, family & friends remain. Smart women work hard to keep relationships in good repair.

A short poem about friendship....

Sharing the happy-nings in my life with you has doubled my pleasure. The same is true for the disappointments - you've made doldrums more unbearable. Thank you for stretching me. For helping me to see new ways of relating, new causes to consider, new interests to explore. Thank you for saying things to me that have not always been easy to say. You risk my hurt, disappointments & anger. But you say them anyway, I appreciate that.

Source: Dianne Booher