10 Smart Moves for Women Who Want to Suceed in Love & Life (Part 4 of 4)

8. BEND SO YOU DON'T BREAK

• Smart women know how to endure, survive even thrive despite adversity. - Sometimes life's events strike with such force that those who don't bend snap. Bending in response to fears, disappointments, setbacks, conflicts & tragedies keeps life from breaking us. To be sure, there are other ways to cope. Some women grow more rigid in their purposes, plans & positions.
• Learn to deal with disappointments.
• Bend so conflict doesn't break us.
• Bend so anger & hurt don't break us. - Forgiveness allows flexibility of the heart when the head says it can take no more.
• Bend so we can manage the downside of risks.
• Bend to survive tragedy. - Attitude is paramount in assimilating the tragedies of life, sorting the significant from the trivial & bouncing back when your heart is breaking.
• Smart women bend, rather than break, during life's difficulties.

9. SEEK SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE

• The role of a wife, mother, friend, employee & entrepreneur hold their shape best when women wear a spiritual foundation.
• Simplify your life so you have time for a spiritual focus.
• It is generally not the boring routine that causes burnout, but the absence of passion & purpose.
• Smart women replenish their spirit by investing emotional energy & time in a cause that serves a larger purpose.
• Recognize God's presence when you see it. - Smart women come to recognize God's presence in the world in different ways.
• Those feelings of faith often increase self-esteem, release creative energy & empower her smart women to act.
• Centering yourself with spiritual certainties. Here are the spiritual certainties claimed by smart women: God loves me, God has a plan for me, God gives me wisdom, God gives me companionship, God gives me peace, God uses me to influence others.
• Smart women should built their lives on these spiritual certainties. They feel centered, serene & content to let God have control in their lives.
• Smart women want to have an impact on their friends & family in memorable ways. Life for them is about spiritual connections deeper than earthly bonds.
• Smart women have given a great deal of thought to their spiritual nature. That thought creates calm center & motivates their outward action, producing high impact in the lives of others. They have anchored themselves on spiritual certainties in life. They have found answers, purpose & meaning for their lives in their faith.

10. SWIM THE SEASONS OF LIFE

• There is a time for everything,
• Don't be afraid of growing older, because as you embrace each new season, it brings its own joy & new opportunities for fulfillment.
• Look at life as stages. In this stage of life we focus on this thing and in that stage we're going to focus on that thing.
• Time spent longing for the past & the "good old days" or longing for the future until "real" life begins is wasted time. Smart women swim in the seasons of life, enjoying each stage of the journey for its own thrills & commitments.

SMART, SUCCESSFUL WOMEN MASTER THEIR MOODS. THEY HAVE A SENSE OF SELF - WORTH. THEY SET SAIL ON THEIR OWN SEAS, DRIVEN BY THEIR OWN GOALS. THEY TAKE RISKS. THEY MAKE DIFFICULT DECISIONS. THEY PUT UP OR SHUT UP. THEY ASK FOR FEEDBACK & DO COURSE CORRECTIONS. THEY BUILD STRONG RELATIONSHIPS. THEY MAKE DELIBERATE & ETHICAL CHOICES.

For all Independent & smart women out there, pls. find time to read this. Thanks!

Source: Dianne Booher

10 Smart Moves for Women (Part 3 of 4)

5. FOLLOW THROUGH FEEDBACK

• Feedback is invaluable to anyone interested in growth & improvement. - Know the difference between feedback & advice.

The advice we receive from others tends to be largely our own; we hint as what we want others to tell us. No one one wants advice - only collaboration. Feedback, on the other hand, often is the label we attach those negative comments we receive from both loved ones & outsiders. To be successful in love & in life, we need both kinds of comments to help us chart a successful & fulfilling life.

• Successful individuals have advisers we call them mentors, coaches or friends.


• We have too much to loose if we don't get feedback and much to gain if we do.


• Consider negative feedback a gift, not a gripe. - one of the surest marks of character is the willingness to accept negative feedback without feeling animosity toward the person who gave it.


• Smart women take the initiative in getting feedback at work & at home.

6. ENTERTAIN ONLY ETHICAL CHOICES

• Smart women never jeopardize their integrity.


• Character counts & perception can penalize. - Even at the bank, loan officers approve or refuse loans, they consider the 5 Cs of credit decisions...credit history, capacity, collateral, cash flow & character. Character - even an outsider's assessment of character - makes a difference whether you get a loan, get a job, or get into a business. Perception can be the most damaging part of the whole situation. It's not what happened or happens, but what people think happened or happens make a difference.


• In the marketplace, in the community, in social circles, character counts.


• Winning or losing, bounty or bankruptcy is not the point. Doing the right thing is.

There are opportunities big & small to take ethical fork in the road:

• Passing off someone else's ideas or accomplishments as your own
• Working at "half-mast" rather than putting in a productive day's work
• Padding a travel expense report
• Lying to clients and colleagues to cover for our mistakes rather than admitting them
• Producing products or providing services of shoddy quality
• Entering someone's computer or desk without authorization
• "Borrowing" from the petty cash fund and failing to return the money
• Taking an employer's trade secrets or inside information and passing them to a new employer or to a competitor
• Advertsing deceptively or selling products known to be defective
• Giving undeserved, poor job references on employees to prospective employers
• Repeating unverified, erroneous information or gossip, or failing to correct hurtful information that you hear passed on about someone or some situation
• Padding a resume
• Failing to honor verbal commitments

• Our bond is our word. Our future business depends on it.
• Character dictates words, actions & decisions.
• Smart women according to Rick Warren - " Smart Women consider their self worth more important than their net worth."

7. RELISH RELATIONSHIPS

• Put family first - Smart women hold on to relationships, despite these fears, despite your successes and despite any difficulties.
• When it comes to marriage, smart women set up a partnership , not a holding company. - That is, smart women and your spouses experience the satisfaction of going through life as partners, each giving to meet the needs of the other and in return having their own needs met. Marriages that operate like a holding company - with one of the partners holding all the sticks and doling out decisions by decree - wither.
• Smart women know that their men & children in their lives provide great strength & support.
• Forgiveness is a decision, always. - Forgive & forge on...Smart women should spend their time analyzing the difficult situation, gaining insight on motivations & then decide to forgive.
• Smart women cherish their family relationships.
• Many people now pay a therapist for what a friend used to do - listen. Friends beat therapists in 2 ways: they don't make you sit on the couch and they are far cheaper. :)
• Smart women find friends who offer an emotional support system. - friends are God's hands on earth.
• To develop this support system around you: Be interested, Be interesting, Cry with them, Be happy when they win, Do favors for them, Let them do favors for you.
• Those that hang out, hang in & hang on - these are your most valuable friendships.
• Communicate with colleagues - Sharing with colleagues and other women will give smart women a chance to bounce ideas off each other, seek advice on problems & issues, and gain support as women.
• Show people you need them - Reveal your heart to them. Listen - even when you are not in the mood. Don't pass judgment on what they say or do. Keep confidences. Find something you can do for them. All these steps in building friendships, we know, we've experienced.
• Smart women ask others for what they need. - letting them know that we need them
• Don't depend on others to make you happy.
• Those smart women who live alone do relish their relationships with extended family & friends, but they have also learned to enjoy solitude. - They fill their time with reading, gardening, crafts, exercising, listening to music,playing the piano, guitar, prayer, meditation, nature walks, sewing, driving, watching movies, sports, blogging, cooking, surfing the net, walking the dog etc. Smart women relish solitude in small doses with their relationships.
• Smart women cherish & cultivate their relationships. Those relationships with family, friends & colleagues provide emotional support, intellectual stimulation & physical help. When career ends, family & friends remain. Smart women work hard to keep relationships in good repair.

A short poem about friendship....

Sharing the happy-nings in my life with you has doubled my pleasure. The same is true for the disappointments - you've made doldrums more unbearable. Thank you for stretching me. For helping me to see new ways of relating, new causes to consider, new interests to explore. Thank you for saying things to me that have not always been easy to say. You risk my hurt, disappointments & anger. But you say them anyway, I appreciate that.

Source: Dianne Booher

10 Smart Moves for Women Who Want to Succeed in Love and in Life by: Dianna Booher

Hi! As promised, this is the continuation of the Smart Moves. I hope these smart moves would help women out there.
3. SET SAILS ON YOUR OWN SEAS

• Find a way to make your passion your work
• Be specific about your goals
• Add deadlines (Goals push us, goals pull us, goals define us)
• A goal should serve as a guide, not a gun to your head
• Develop an action plan (Smart women survey their resources)
• Chart your progress along the way
• It takes courage to change course. But then smart women have courage.
• Smart women correct their courses. It Happens. - Smart women define success in their own terms: Success may mean holding an executive position in a Top 500 company. Success may mean learning new skills, raising well adjusted kids, running a mansion, providing excellent customer service, winning the starring role in a play, it may also mean growing your own company.

SMART women set sail on their own sea of success. They find and stir the passion inside them until it becomes the flame that sweeps them into genuine success - personal fulfilment.

4. PUT UP OR SHUT UP

• Smart women decide things - and then move on.
• Why do we dally around with decision? We fear making the wrong decision. We fear taking responsibility for ourselves.
• Learn to make that hard decisions.
• Take calculated risks - because some decisions require risk. Sometimes not to take a risk can be the biggest risk of all.
• Smart women who plan to make a difference in the world have to believe that a difference can be made.
• Indecision about handling conflict causes major stress. Right or wrong, there are decisions and commitments that cannot be delegated or relegated to someone else.
• Recognize procrastination and perform above par
• Accept responsibility for your decisions.
• Smart women deliver results not excuses.
• Smart women exercise self-discipline themselves and they expect others to do the same. Here's what smart women do differently to accomplish more:

1. Feed & exercise your mind
2. Cultivate curiosity
3. Focus & concentrate
4. Avoid trying to complete a project when they have to wait for information
5. Bunch similar tasks
6. Create systems & processes for the routine so they don't waste energy on rethinking
7. Eliminate the busywork
8. Try not to tell people things they already know
9. Do things right the first time so they don't have to do them over
10. Set priorities
11. Plan
12. Prepare for the worst
13. Organize yourselves, your workspace, information & tools
14. Schedule optimally
15. Work according to your natural rhythm
16. Forget the clock
17. Learn to delegate
18. Ask questions upfront
19. Listen to the answers
20. Ask for reasons
21. Welcome new ideas
22. See obstacles as opportunities
23. Study past mistakes
24. Tame your tongue
25. Say yes with pleasure
26. Say no when yo have to - with a smile :)
27. Pay attention to detail
28. See the big picture
29. Hire capable people
30. Hire slowly but fire quickly
31. Pay for quality

Do what you can...every 10 minutes. If you can't swallow the whole work / task all at once, break it into do-able chunks. I am doing it with my general cleaning....

Practice persistence. Don't do more than you can do. But do all that you can do. Committing to more than you can do is the surest way to lose your credibility. Doing what you say you will do is the fastest track to confidence - yours and theother person.

Smart women take the calculated risks, handle confrontation , perform above par, put in the effort, right the wrongs and deliver the results. In short, smart women decide, smart women determine. smart women do. They don't drift.

10 Smart Moves for Women Who Want to Succeed In Love & Life by: Dianna Booher

1. MASTER YOUR MOODS

• Women who are victims of their moods will find it difficult to suceed on the job or in personal relationships.
• Smart women give themselves permission to be less than perfect.
• Smart women have learned to connect their body with their emotions. (get rid of clutter, simplify your routines, be realistic about what you can do in any given day, realize that everything takes longer than you think, read good books, listen to relaxing music, spend time on a hobby-something you really enjoy, exercise: walk, swim,dance, garden, shop, keep your sense of humor, pamper yourself with warm baths and massage, rest (forget work) one day a week, take periodic vacations & retreats with others or alone, pay for conveniences (the things you don't enjoy doing), do for yourself the things you enjoy(even if paying for such services "makes more sense."), live within your means (making sure you can afford what you buy), give up your expectations about what others should do,be and say,create comfortable surroundings, get regulat physical check ups, appreciate & enjoy nature, spend time with little kids full of wonder, Network with other women with whom you can bounce off ideas regarding your career, interest & personal situations, reconnect with your friends, stay away from negative people, continously leran new things, believe in the future. A friend onece summed up this way: " I have the tendency to act - and then backstroke. Many of these actions come from my emotions." SMART WOMEN MASTER THEIR MOODS

2. SEEK A SENSE OF SELF-WORTH

• Smart women make sure their success rests on pillars rather than platforms.
• Regain self-respect through your own accomplishments
• Regain your self-respect by earning money
• Regain your self-respect through your "packaging"
• Packaging also includes personality.
• Credibility is a by-product of both men's and women's appearance & grooming
• Regain your self-respect through your sense of service & satisfaction
• Regain your self-respect through triumph over tragedy or failure
• Smart women admit what they don't know and set about learning
• Smart women take responsibility for themselves.
• In short, Smart women create their own name badge.
• Learning never ends - if you are SMART

Early on, smart women master the life skills important to every woman in today's world. By those essential life skills, Ms. Booher means:

• interpersonal skills (listening, expressing your ideas, persuading & resolving conflict)
• oral & written communication ( organizing your ideas & information in writing & in front of a group clearly, concisely & persuasively)
• time management (organization, planning, concentration, discipline & dealing with procrastination)
• project management (planning, scheduling, budgeting, coordinating, executing, coaching & evaluating)
• financial savvy

I hope you enjoyed reading the 2 smart moves. I will try to post tommorrow another 2 smart moves.

See you!